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Frost by ~kuro-musouka:iconkuro-musouka:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


Frost
Crystalled skin
Blue fingers rigid
Eyes ever forward.

Pathetic sight
Rotting
Mask trailing
In tendrils of flesh
An occasional flash
Of the residual deformity.

Breathe.
Stretch.
Crawl forward.

Sand and grit
Crushed into the cracks
Chafed
Dragged slowly along

Stinking clumps of decay
Falling away from your fingertips
When you dare to brush the hair from my face

Voice laced with formaldehyde.
How long has it been?

Fragile bones
Newborn
Tasting air for the first time.
Dust-kissed innards
Draped around your neck
Connection.

Lips
Disgust
Fangs drawn
                    Claws sheathed - No need.


Crayon smile
                        Keyboard laughter
                                                        Drunken stupor.

The creak of rusted minds
Gears and bone
Struggling against time
                                    for the first
Time
                                    for the last
Time.


Rot makes the water warm,
Did you know?
Used to the smell
Sunwarmed
Steaming

Precious blots of ink
Drawn a broken smile
Still dripping
Black beads gathered on your chin.

Dive, but the warmth only goes so deep.
Do you know what lies beneath your feet?
©2009 ~kuro-musouka
:iconkuro-musouka:

Author's Comments

Poetry was the least requested by you pervy bitches, so enjoy your daily dose of meaning.

(Also, no tablet or way to post anything else.)

Picture (c) some photographer
Poem (c) me.

Comments


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:iconmichaelschenker2nd:
~MichaelSchenker2nd Feb 28, 2009, 1:29:49 AM
Brilliant, simply brilliant.

--
A wave of sorrow was washed upon me
As my heart was broken in to
And the only question I ask
Is where did you put the coffee
:iconthe-kitten:
~The-Kitten Feb 28, 2009, 1:36:44 AM
Its amazing. Well written.. Love it. <3
:iconlledra:
*lledra Feb 28, 2009, 1:46:42 AM
Oooo I love it <3's!!!

--
I know this is tacky but, I'm offering Commissions! [link]
:iconatemozzarella:
~AteMozzarella Feb 28, 2009, 3:47:39 AM
Honest opinion or slightly sugar-coated? ^^;

I mean, I could really imagine it, and the expression in the words was lovely ^w^ but something was just the littlest bit off about the writing.

^^;

--
Be part of my elemental story! Free sketch of your character! [link]
In my Philippine mythological webcomic "Halimaw", be any being you choose! Be in my webcomic! [link]
:iconcatastrophilia:
=Catastrophilia Feb 28, 2009, 6:10:03 AM
I'm usually not a fan of short lines in poetry, but this was good <3 I really like that bit right at the end.
:iconkuro-musouka:
~kuro-musouka Feb 28, 2009, 8:17:09 AM
I don't like sugar coat anything, so harp away.
Though I can't guarantee I'll agree with you; writing style in poems is something that varies on opinion.

--
---------------------------------
Welcome to Obsession
-----------------------------------
:icondrowninginflame49:
~DrowningInFlame49 Feb 28, 2009, 10:02:00 PM
Quite honestly, I think it's very well written and wonderfully descriptive. Are you talking about anyone in particular in it?

"The creak of rusted minds
Gears and bone
Struggling against time
-----------------for the first
Time
-----------------for the last
Time."
This part especially, I liked a lot. I can almost imagine it in song form.

--
　／l、
ﾞ（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
　l、ﾞ ~ヽ
　じしf_, )ノ
:love:
*Z-A-D-R
:iconkuro-musouka:
~kuro-musouka Feb 28, 2009, 11:05:09 PM
Thankyou :D
And yeah, it is talking about someone... three someone's actually.

--
---------------------------------
Welcome to Obsession
-----------------------------------
:iconatemozzarella:
~AteMozzarella Mar 1, 2009, 1:43:27 AM
well overall, it's really great :) Just that some words don't seem to fit right in the entirety; some are either too simple as compared to the phrase it's in, and at some point, you could have probably phrased it different.

AND that's all, really :D The emotion's all really stirring and I can really see it in my mind's eye :3

--
Be part of my elemental story! Free sketch of your character! [link]
In my Philippine mythological webcomic "Halimaw", be any being you choose! Be in my webcomic! [link]
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